The Vegan Community’s Way-Too-Cool-for-You Crowd

I don’t know where this will go exactly, but here comes a rant. Going out on a scary limb here, but liking it. Boo hoo, poor me, the snobs have hurt my feelings again…

I’ll admit it, I’m uncool

imagesI’m not in the slightest bit hip, never have been. You knew that already? Darn you! Oh, I tried once upon a time to be cool and hot (wtf?)…shopped at the Gap, tried to get the “look,” the valley/surfer girl accent, the irreverent attitude, the frightening ability to quietly but firmly exclude the uncool from my little circle of vegan hipsters. This was back in the 1980s and we were a small circle of newbies to the elitist thing and feeling that euphoria…at least I was, for a short time anyways.

But no. Suffice it to say, I failed at hipness. I simply am not cool. I’m just me, a flawed product of a lifetime of experiences unique to myself…as are we all. Additionally, I’m a loner by nature, quiet, don’t like to talk except for one-on-one, and have to force myself to be in the company of others. Purely social gatherings of people disturb me, I can’t cope with that. My inner peace comes from being alone, or with animals, or with people 100% trusted to be on my side and I on theirs, and that doesn’t come easy.

Now, what does it mean to be “cool”?

48021_640Well, remember the select group of more attractive, edgy kids from middle- and high-school who had just the right amount of goodness to be loved by all, yet just the right amount of badness to be feared by many? Mentally healthy enough to love themselves, yet enough rebel-without-a-cause in them to do dangerous things yet never enough to do real harm? You know the ones. My childhood best friend Jan became one of them after escaping my dweeby influence and going to high school in another town. Perhaps you, dear reader, were or are one of them.

They’re the self-assured ones who have a knack for wearing clothes well, always looking sexy, despite possibly being poor. The ones who knew at an instant that insecure dweebs like myself were simply…not of their kind…and would quietly but firmly exclude me from their company forever and ever till the end of time. Sure, occasionally one would take a liking to quiet little Laura and take me under her hipster wing for awhile…until firmly scolded by other elitists (in some exclusive meeting place where their rules were enacted and enforced?) and warned that her coolness may be irreparably harmed by such dalliances with a chubby mousy girl.

And then there’s the uncool, like this great old lady…

death-to-hipstersOr maybe she’s actually an old hipster herself, hah. Not me though; I was almost pathologically quiet growing up; unassuming, dressed to be ignored most of the time. I never got away with boldness, except in my home neighborhood with close childhood friends (i.e. Jan mentioned earlier and a few others). I had my cool moments, but knew instinctively that I was treading in uncharted territory…so unworthy! Hehe. And when on occasion I might try to look or be a bit “edgy” by extra makeup or whatever, I was smiled at knowingly and asked who I was trying to impress, by other uncool girls, yet who were cooler than me, which wasn’t saying much.

I rather consider myself a dork, or a nerd without the typical nerd smarts. A imgressquare peg. But I do finally love myself, after so many years of self-doubt and self-abuse. Sure I still have self-doubt and allow others to walk all over me at times, but after a point I say no more! I won’t get into my childhood here, except to say that when one’s parents come to seriously despise each other, one can end up feeling like a sorry mistake, like someone who should never have been born. Cheery, isn’t this?

So what’s the point of this rant?

snobBeats me. Anyhow, now you have the background on why I’m ultra-sensitive to this exclusionary “cool” thing where certain people let others know that we’re not to attempt association with them, not now, not ever! And yes this exists very much in the vegan community. Which is surprising and disturbing, and needs to be addressed by the too-cool ones themselves. Get this out there, let the BS hit the fan, and become truly improved people. Accept and love all ethical vegans, warts and all. Life is hard and heartbreaking enough without such nonsense as blatant snobbery against good kind people who are different.

Online you can see what I’m talking about in youtube channels and other social media sites that are moderately to extremely popular where loads of people come to express their devotion to vegan royalty who can do no wrong. Any uncool vegan who dares question anything an elite one says is either conspicuously ignored or quickly corrected by some White Knight assuming the duty of guarding royalty against assault by the lowly. I don’t need to describe it more here…it’s best to witness it first hand to get the full picture. Or maybe I’m the only one experiencing this…hah, that would be typical.

The downside for some of our beloved royals

banana_dress_colorized_by_ajax1946d30npiy1One irony, or caveat of sorts, is that some of the more controversial coolest of cool ones get a lot of vicious hatred hurled at them from people opposed to vegan lifestyles, which is entirely wrong and unjust even if it does knock some people off their towering pedestals at times.

That’s why some hipster vegans thoroughly thwart all attacks by being nothing but “love” machines, knowing exactly how to avoid pushing buttons of people likely to attack. Such cool ones strictly avoid all mention of any animal abuse or any arguments as being “gross” or just not to be done, as such negativity is strictly forbidden in their blissfully cool worlds. When what they’re actually doing is avoiding the important issues, to protect their own fine-tuned egos.

angry_woman_computerBut certain “bosses” are far too cool to be hurt by such attacks, and good for them, I say, as that knocking down is being done by the wrong people…meat advocates! They absolutely love coming to popular vegan channels and hurling vicious insults…some seem to have that as their main hobby in life. So dweebs like me can end up butting in to defend vegan royalty against such attacks. But alas, our participation is unwanted and largely ignored, for our uncoolness simply drips off the page. Or maybe it’s just me…this “we” I speak of may be another delusion.

More me, me, me, ugh…

LOL, Sammy Davis Jr.’s I Gotta Be Me keeps going through my head: 

Ah well, life as a reject, I know it well, and have learned to enjoy it somewhat nonetheless. I love me, even through the self-hate, as I’ve done some idiotic, coldhearted things in life that I deserve a good beating for, from those I wronged. Their forgiveness would mean everything to me. Despite the pain it brings, I’ve become 100% honest with myself, and that is not a task for wimps. Getting old ain’t for wimps either… trust me. Enough digression for you?

Okay, back to topic…

hippiesSo to all you snobby vegans, usually of the raw “fruit festival” and 1% body-fat super-fit athletic crowd who consider yourselves “bosses,” I’ll say directly: Screw you.

Quotation-Trent-Zelazny-smoking-wisdom-cool-Meetville-Quotes-221877You’re not too cool for me nor for anyone else. You need to get over yourselves and shove your snobbery where the sun don’t shine.

My spirit may well shine above yours for all we know, as this Earthly existence is an infinitesimal blip in this universe. But I still love you and appreciate your being vegan for the animals and would defend you against attack (even when my butting in isn’t appreciated) much as I would an estranged family member, and they would for me as well. I wish you and your loved ones, including animals, nothing but the best and for you to be safe and live long and prosper and have lots of good influence over this world. Since these guys…not my battered little ego nor your highly inflated one…are the ones who matter:beautiful_Animals_HQ_wallpapers_---bipin369----36.jpg_Animals_bipin369_32

imgresUPDATE 3/1/15: About the Greg Gutfeld “Not Cool” book cover earlier used as image above, where the quote about snobbery is now; I’d used the Gutfeld image knowing nothing about him, just liked the title. But he MIGHT be one of those conservatives I cannot stand (although I don’t know), who loves dominion over animals and hates animal rights people, so I removed it…don’t really care to look into him more, have had my fill of the vile Palins/Coulters/Nugents of this world long ago, even though I’m conservative but not very political. Animals are my main concern in life, having learned what I know.

My Dorky But Shameless Cereal Obsession

StoneCrockeryBowlIt’s quite the particular food habit. A regular craving. Crazy and complicated. But provides much of our needed vitamins and minerals for the day, especially calcium, as well as protein and iron. It’s comparatively low in sugar, low in fat, high in fiber, low in calories, and fairly cheap. Yet healthy as heck. And just as tasty. It’s filling and seems to keep me from craving sweets, satisfies that cookie monster. It’s my daily cereal concoction, prepared the same way (with few variations) since I went strictly vegan in May 2009. This is breakfast 99% of the time. Sure, a bowl of cereal for breakfast isn’t the stuff of fascinating (or even slightly interesting) reading. But I’ll do it anyways, for those few who might find it…err…whatever.

So here goes…the ingredients…

3/4 cup each of 3 varieties of whole-grain cereal (yes, it’s a BIG bowl…2+ cups or 3+ oz. …of cereal):

Nature’s Path Organic Flax Plus Multibran Flakes (which is kept in the fridge because it contains flax)Natures-Path-Organic-Flax-Plus-Cereal-Multibran-058449770503

Arrowhead Mills Organic Puffed Kamut CerealARW-47434-5

Kashi GoLean Crisp Cinnamon Crumble555_PackShot

1 tablespoon flaxseed meal (kept frozen) or chia seeds for some omega 3 fat (unless you use flax milk…see below)

chia-397076_640flax-seed-meal-honeyville-23

Mix it all up and marvel at your awesome skills. Then things get weirder…

The dark chocolaty “milk” concoction:

12 oz. unsweetened soy, flax, cashew, or coconut milk (A.k.a. V-milk. If you use flax milk you can omit the chia or flaxseeds above. Also, I avoid using almond milk on cereal…don’t like it for that.)soy_hg_unsweet_ip

1 teaspoon instant coffee (decaf if you like, I don’t mind caffeine)12-4-instant-coffee-robusta

1 rounded tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powdercocoa-powder

1 tablespoon (or a bit more) blackstrap molasses (depending how sweet you want it)WHS-60000-0

Add a bit of Stevia if you want more sweetness.

Extra vitamins & minerals:

I put a bit of crushed vitamin pills in too, depending on need: vitamin B12 a couple times a week, a bit of zinc every other day or so, vitamin D2 every other day or more often if I’m getting no sunshine. Most vegan “milks” already contain added B12, etc., so check labels and shake those containers well.

imgresWhat’s next in this rigorous ordeal, you ask?

You next need to make a paste with the dry ingredients, the molasses and a bit of V-milk; make it smooth (plastic tumbler is preferred, metal spoon mixing on glass isn’t a good idea), then add the rest of the V-milk and mix well. Then pour onto your gigantic bowl of cereal, look askance at the big brown mess in there, then scarf it down, preferably with a big, shovel-like spoon. Yum! I can stay away from unhealthy pie, donuts, etc., all day after having this.V8

I always have 8 oz. of low-sodium vegetable juice with this breakfast, to keep the sugar level down and for the vitamin C that’s added, the vitamin A, etc., and just because I like it. And it’s only 50 calories.

This breakfast has a total of 500 calories yet gives me a great start for the day. GreenSaladRaw foodies would likely sneer disdainfully at the whole thing, as there’s almost nothing raw there; but I make up for it later on with lots of fruit including a smoothie, sometimes big green leafy salads for dinner, etc.

More boring details: I usually crave peanut butter, fruit and iced coffee (Stevia sweetened) soon after breakfast, so I have ’em…today’s fruit is tangerines. So that makes the whole deal “brunch” perhaps, and brings the total calories to 750…

While a typical breakfast alone of pancakes drenched in butter & syrup, eggs, bacon, and orange juice contains about 1200 calories, a whole lot more sugar, bad carbs, salt, and fat, and far less good nutrition. And always left me hungry even though I’d just pigged out, from what I remember. I believe that hunger was for something my body could actually thrive on.

[Yeah, I’m somewhat retired so have lots of spare time on my hands, but it’s nice.]

So, anyone have any thoughts or want to share your own favorite VEGAN breakfast?Troll detailed

Any fond mention of bacon (etc.) will be furiously deleted and will result in an an evil curse cast upon you, so don’t even think about it!! Yes, I do like to pretend lots of people read my stuff and want to comment, but I’m a dreamer. Hah, reality sucks, so why not dream? Anyhow…

I hope readers will share some favorite vegan breakfasts in comments below, and maybe I’ll try those for a change. Or, anyone who tries this breakfast, let me know how you like it, even if you hate it and want to tell me off in mean, hurtful terms. daf1a56cf509ccf45f10771053e8351aOr as I picture you, just shake your head in bemusement, annoyance and/or boredom and move along to more meaningful things. It’s okay, as long as you’re still at least vegan-friendly 🙂