The Demise of a Very Difficult Friend

UPDATES thru 12/23/2016: 
1) RHCP “Sick Love” video
2) See ** below video
3) See memorial mural of Dave at very bottomdave-l-4

My friend David was a very troubled soul, suffered from all sorts of destructive addictions. He was a loud, assertive, friendly big guy, and a drummer for different bands over the years. He looked pretty much like a thug, tattooed, gangsterish garb, shaved head, bandanas, etc. But I saw, behind all of it, his real, severely hidden self, and liked him from the first loud hello shouted at me from up on his landing. He’d moved into my condo complex a bit before I did and we met soon thereafter…match made in purgatory, so to speak, lol.

His childhood was less than ideal, to put it mildly. He turned out as somewhat of a narcissist, but with a good, caring, protective man underneath all the image consciousness and cruelty meant to drag certain people…me included…way down. It was all I could do to hold onto my fragile self-esteem throughout. He was nearly 21 years younger than me, and our attempt at a romantic relationship was a mistake from the beginning and we both knew it…but it didn’t stop us, for a short time anyways, from March through July of 2013. There were always the other women held up to me as threats of losing him if I didn’t toe the line. Well, I thought, would that be so bad? Since I never actually “owned” him in the first place, as another more assertive woman was so quick to do. He ended up abandoning her in the end, too, as soon as domestic bliss with her seemed at hand. He’d then used his open affection for old me in an attempt to make her jealous, it seemed. Strife with women was all he could understand…a happy, loving, healthy relationship with a woman was outside his reach. Something I can relate to well, sadly enough.

My two dogs, Lily and Mattie, loved him to pieces…Lily without fear, but Mattie feared his drunken or drugged behavior as possibly harmful (accidentally) to her, although he never harmed my dogs due to my watchfulness. To see Mattie so torn between love and fear was heartbreaking.

David cared so much for me that he wanted me to steer clear of him and not allow his ruination into my nice, orderly, sentimental life, so he did his utmost to repel me despite our being hopelessly drawn to each other. And he finally succeeded. And then he was bewildered and saddened by my truly disconnecting from him as anything other than a distant friend. He did then finally declare his love for me in a few brief emails prior to his running away from his life once again, back in January 2015, and those messages I will always keep or remember and think of him fondly for them. I love him too, but it was a very sick love on both our parts…

** By the way, no, Dave was not vegan…anything but; but he was supportive and wanted to go vegan to please me when he was in that frame of mind. So no, his addictions, problems and death were not vegan-diet related in the slightest, in case anyone wants to come to that conclusion.

David had attempted suicide before, not just once, and he finally achieved an end to his life this past August (or thereabout) of 2016. He’d been traveling (with nothing but the clothes on his back and a backpack) around the west coast from Washington State down to San Diego and staying who knows where for the last year and a half of his life. His death could have been from a drug overdose, murder, final stages of illness…suicide…no one knows, as far as I’ve been told by the family. What remained of his body wasn’t found up on a cliff near the Camp Pendleton Marine Base until many weeks after his death. He was his family’s only child, so of course they were profoundly saddened and left worse than gapingly empty by this loss, despite David’s having been on a collision course with an early death for much of his life.

Following, in tribute to David, are images of the area where he passed on…he did pick a beautiful spot with ocean and sky surely his last physical perceptions of this world…

1490155-38ea4b28-500 san-onofre-360884_960_720 sunset%20cliffs-beach%20hikes-san%20diego-california cliffs_san_clemente

Rest in peace, my difficult friend. I hope you’ve become a healed and healthy spirit and joined my gang of guardian angels (whole lotta dogs among them if I should be so honored), as well as that of your other loved ones, especially your beloved daughter.

Below is David’s memorial mural at Venice Beach, CA, done by a friend just recently…


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