Cooking · Food · Last Meal · Things I love · Uncategorized · Vegan Treats

My End of the World Last Meal

Firstly, to get the “kvetching” (mustn’t swear) and intro out of the way…

Anti-vegans claim vegans are always thinking about food; they say it’s because we’re starving on crappy fake food and only need to down a bloody steak and wash it down with cow’s milk to get us focused on more important things in life than food, like they are, hahaha…hah. When omni or carny food lovers obsess about what they love to eat and blather loudly about it all, they’re affectionately called “foodies” who simply and naturally enjoy eating tasty stuff. Funny how that works out, isn’t it?

I absolutely love all of my everyday healthy vegan foods, but do dream of being able to stuff myself full of “forbidden” treats like pizza and cake…veganized of course. If only I could, without suffering the sorry and severe consequences.

I watched a video yesterday of all the strangest Last Meal requests of Death Row inmates (most of their menus being expectedly meat heavy), and it got me thinking, what would my preferred last meal be? If I were on Death Row I’d probably want little or nothing, since I lose my appetite and get sort of nauseous when totally stressed out, scared or depressed.

So I thought of another scenario…

Say that in some dummy’s fantasy, the media has reported that there’s a giant asteroid headed towards Earth and it will be here the day after tomorrow. You’re a foodie and your thoughts turn to what will be your final meal (or full day of gorging) before the big kaboom and your journey into the unknown, sans body. You have no idea what’s to come following that. Regardless, you’re gleefully happy and cannot wait for this spinning lunatic asylum full of death and unjust suffering to finally be finished off. So you’re going shopping (assuming any shops will be open), for ingredients if you’re a cook at heart, and/or for ready-made items that you sometimes wish you could eat yourself to death with, having blissed out in crazy taste-bud ecstasy for hours, possibly all day long with several breaks, since I eat nice and slow.

So, below are my choices…and I hope to see others’ Last Meal selections in the comments, but who cares about my hopes? Probably no one, sigh. Anyhow:

Everything’s VEGAN, naturally.

Serving sizes? No such thing! All you can eat…

• Green chili & black bean tamales (greasy!)
Source: Susy Languren Di Vegan – youtube
• Pizza with lots of Miyoko’s mozzarella and some hot peppers (also nice & greasy)
Source: avantgardevegan – youtube
• Shortbread cookies (again greasy, and nice & crumbly)
Source: lovingitvegan.com
• Glazed jelly donuts (What, me worry about sugar? No more!)
Source: Mayim Bialik’s Hannukkah Doughnuts
• Chocolate layer cake with lots of chocolate frosting (mmmm, more sugar and lots of deep brown chocolatey gooeyness)
Source: liliscakes.com
• Premium smooth peanut butter, lightly salted

And to wash it all down…
• Big tumbler of chocolate peppermint soy milk

That’s one huge pig-out for me because my maintenance calories are 1800, and a rough estimate of calories here is about 3800. That’s probably equal to my all-time pig-out record and possibly all I could eat without dropping dead (and I’d want to be fully conscious for the asteroid hit, heheh). Anyways, who’s counting calories any more on “D Day”? I must be nuts.

Of course I’d have plenty of extra food on hand and let my dog(s) (and family) stuff down as much as they could, too, since what dog or human wouldn’t love to gorge on all that in glazed-eyed, Buddha-bellied abandon, knowing there’s no tomorrow?

With my luck, after finishing that gut busting, weight packing, heart-attack, diabetes-chow feast, the asteroid would unexpectedly change course and this purgatory would grind on, and I’d be stuck bloated, several pounds heavier, and probably ripe for some dreaded, food-related, chronic disease.

Source: giphy.com
Oh well, the world’s end is only a dream, but still I pray.

 

Cooking · Food · Recipes · Things I love · Uncategorized · Vegan cooking

21 Sweet Vegan Dreams

Vegan desserts, food porn alert!

Look away if this will cause you to bake (or prep) up a storm and pig out! But to find the recipes if you dare, just tap “Click Here” under photos.

I’ve always been a bakery junkie; the smells alone that waft from those happy houses of sweet and rich are so very intoxicating, drawing one in like a bee to nectar, but much worse of course, as nectar is good for bees.

Those people who whip up these delectable, ultra-rich baked goods and desserts are like the Devil in Fairy Godmother finery to me. They’re like drug pushers. But since I went strictly vegan back in early 2009 I’ve managed to curb my luscious-sweets addiction with a healthy big bowl of mostly molasses sweetened cereal every morning.

Still, I can’t have the sorts of things in this recipe collection around and be alone with them. They whisper (or scream) my name relentlessly until I give in and start in on “just one dainty serving, like a normal person.” Then all bets are off…the whole bunch of it is going down the hatch, but slowly, as I’m a slow eater, always the last to finish a meal in any group. No eating-contest style wolfing for me. Anyhow, I must say a resounding NO to these luscious sweet concoctions, and can only dream, since all that sugar really wreaks havoc on our health.

I do envy those smuggies who can have a dainty slice of cake and then push the plate away and be done, really done. Me? Never. Unless there’s no more to be found. As long as it’s not on my radar and reachable, it’s safe. Sigh.

So on with those vegan desserts (or main dishes as with the pancakes), in random order…mmmmmmm!

1…

Crispy Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies from thevegan8.com Click Here

2…

Guava Cake from the jollyfox.com Click Here

3…

Jelly Donuts from hellyeahitsvegan.com Click Here

4…

Blueberry Muffins from connoisseurusrex.com Click Here

5…

Vegan Glazed Cinnamon Apple Fritter from onegreenplanet.org Click Here

6…

Vegan Date Cookies from Bishdar on pixabay.com Click Here

7…

Vegan Shortbread Cookies from lovingitvegan.com Click Here

8…

Vegan Chocolate Mousse from ElodiV on pixabay.com Click Here

9…

Pumpkin Muffins (with surprise center) from lovenutty.com Click Here

10…

One-Bowl Gluten-Free Carrot Cake from minimalistbaker.com Click Here

11…

Lemon Meringue Pie from veganosity.com Click Here

12…

“Paleo” Vegan Almond Flour Chocolate Chip Cookies from detoxinista.com Click Here

13…

Lemon Pie with Ginger Cookie Crust from lovingitvegan.com Click Here

14…

Easy Vegan Lemon Almond Poppy Seed Bread from beamingbaker.com Click Here

15…

Vegan Cheesecake with Salted Caramel Fudge Sauce from lovingitvegan.com Click Here

16…

Pancakes from lovingitvegan.com 😋 Click Here

17…

Easy Raw Vegan Fudge from detoxinista.com Click Here

18…

Vegan Confetti Cookies from namelymarly.com Click Here

19…

Vegan Chocolate Layer Cake from noracooks.com Click Here

20…

Vegan Eclairs from gretchensbakery.com Click Here

21…

Vegan Cherry Pie from biancazapatka.com Click Here
Bogus arguments against veganism · Dealing with problem people · Diet wars · Food · Health · Human behavior · Judgmentalism · Karma · Morality · Psychology · Uncategorized · Vegan diet

An Honest Conversation with an Ex-Vegan (for a change)

Hey Wendy, it’s been a while; want to go to lunch with me today?

Okay Delia, let’s go to Vinnie’s for pizza.

Wait, I thought you were vegan, they don’t have anything vegan at Vinnie’s.

Oh I quit that last month, I just didn’t have what it takes to stick with it, too much pressure from everyone to “get back to normal.” I was always the odd one out, not eating this, rejecting that, being rude to cooks; always felt weird and like everyone was thinking things about me. I went to a crystal party in April and they had all this fancy snack food set out and all I could eat was some chips and salsa and some drinks. Everyone else was free to eat whatever. I felt so…odd.

But I thought you were vegan not only for your health but because you love animals. Was that not true?

Yes I love animals, but some are just brought into the world as food or whatever people want to use them for; it’s just the way things are. My not eating or using them won’t stop it. Most everyone else is still doing it.

What, are you going to start wearing fur too? Are all those ethics just out the window?

NO, of course I won’t wear fur, or eat veal; I do at least draw a line somewhere, whenever it doesn’t interrupt my comfort anyways. It’s just that as a vegan, the treatment I got from normal people made me always feel like this little boy back in second grade who had all the kids gang up on him and blamed him for something he didn’t do…I’ll never forget his face. I know it sounds weak, but that’s how people made me feel for being vegan.

But you always told me that by your not eating animals you were part of the solution, not the problem, that it was for your soul, for your karma that you were doing it, just as much as for the animals. You said that the more vegans there were, the closer they were to being a majority and making the world a far better place. And, I’ve actually gotten to where I’m mostly vegan now because of things I learned from you, and now you’ve done a 180 and you’re actually back to doing what you said was so horrible?

I know. I don’t know if I was lying more back then, to everyone else, or if I’m lying more now, to myself; but whatever the case, it’s just easier for me to go along and get along, to no longer be the vegan freak that everyone thinks they either have to walk on eggshells around or who they feel free to openly ridicule. I can’t hang out only at vegan potlucks for the rest of my life. I just didn’t have the backbone to rise above all that social pressure and awkwardness, so I gave up on my morals to fit back in with the majority. It’s a huge relief in a way, but also a huge disappointment in myself. And, there’s a big load of guilt about the animals, which I try to cover up by saying I had terrible health problems as a vegan so that I was forced to go back to meat, eggs and dairy, to save my life.

But you were so healthy for all those years, what was it, seven? I never noticed you having any sort of health problems, except for that one time when you were out with the flu. And I’m feeling so much better now after a couple of months of being nearly vegan. So what’s up with the health problems?

Eight years. I didn’t really have any problems, I felt great too; but I listened to all the people telling vegans how they were looking terrible, missing out on all these nutrients, going to lose their teeth, go blind, lose their hair, have their brains dissolve, go insane, get cancer, diabetes, all that. It all stressed me out enough that I started imagining that every little thing was from lack of animal foods. Like once I had a fingernail break off and I panicked, even though I used to have nails break off before I ever quit eating animals. And I’d forget the name of someone I’d just met and thought, uh oh, there goes my brain. Or when I had bad PMS…those sort of things. I kind of half knew I was full of crap, same as now, but I just can’t face being the odd one out again. Not yet anyways. Life’s just easier now. As long as I don’t let my conscience butt in and fill me with shame.

Well I’m fine with being the odd one out, knowing what I know now; am only struggling with giving up the little bit of cheese I might still eat. Everything else I eat is vegan and I’m loving it. If I could just find a vegan cheese that I like, and it wasn’t too expensive. They’re either gross or if good they cost an arm and a leg! It’s just so strange that I used to be questioning you about all this and now here we are just about totally reversed!

Well now you’ve gone and made me feel guilty, but I needed that. In the back of my mind I’m always troubled by what I’m doing now. My way of blocking that out is to bask in the company of other ex-vegans on the internet and hear their tales of malnutrition horror. Which, if their truth is anything like mine, means they’re a bunch of liars. But then I wonder, how could they ALL be lying. Then I realize that I’m totally capable of the same if I wanted to go all out like they do. It’s all just so… unseemly. I do think about coming back to vegan, but then the huge disappointment and ridicule and dire warnings that’ll be dumped on me are just too much to bear. Wish I was a stronger person. I miss my old self.

She’s still in there, Wendy, you just have to let her back in the driver’s seat. You can’t let other people drown out your conscience. Anyhow, why don’t we go to the Green Thumb for lunch later; one lunch without animal products won’t do you in, will it?

Haha, I guess I’ll survive until dinner after that poisonous, anti-nutrient filled, totally sucky, sugar loaded lunch suited only for…no one. It’ll be rough, but nowhere near as rough as the treatment I’ll get if friends and family find out about it.

Hah, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t. I’d say some falafel, hummus and tabouleh wraps with a nice green salad and a fruit smoothie might not kill you. That sound good?

Yes, actually it does, Delia. Meet you at twelve in the lobby!

Credit: Vanessa Prosser on Tumblr (defunct account)

Well, was that fictional little discussion heavy-handed and trite enough for you? If so, glad it met your expectations, hah. I just wanted to deal in my corny way with what I truly think is the Number One reason behind all this “ex-vegan” nonsense going on these days. Aside from the Wendys of the world, the more flaky trendies who hop on this bandwagon on a whim, the more whiny loudmouthed quitters there will be joining these vegan-bashing forums full of misinformation.

Please don’t let yourself be influenced by such people going through a really lowdown phase in their lives. Always listen to your better self.

End of sermon. 😌

[Uncredited images courtesy of pixabay.com]