Cooking · Food · Last Meal · Things I love · Uncategorized · Vegan Treats

My End of the World Last Meal

Firstly, to get the “kvetching” (mustn’t swear) and intro out of the way…

Anti-vegans claim vegans are always thinking about food; they say it’s because we’re starving on crappy fake food and only need to down a bloody steak and wash it down with cow’s milk to get us focused on more important things in life than food, like they are, hahaha…hah. When omni or carny food lovers obsess about what they love to eat and blather loudly about it all, they’re affectionately called “foodies” who simply and naturally enjoy eating tasty stuff. Funny how that works out, isn’t it?

I absolutely love all of my everyday healthy vegan foods, but do dream of being able to stuff myself full of “forbidden” treats like pizza and cake…veganized of course. If only I could, without suffering the sorry and severe consequences.

I watched a video yesterday of all the strangest Last Meal requests of Death Row inmates (most of their menus being expectedly meat heavy), and it got me thinking, what would my preferred last meal be? If I were on Death Row I’d probably want little or nothing, since I lose my appetite and get sort of nauseous when totally stressed out, scared or depressed.

So I thought of another scenario…

Say that in some dummy’s fantasy, the media has reported that there’s a giant asteroid headed towards Earth and it will be here the day after tomorrow. You’re a foodie and your thoughts turn to what will be your final meal (or full day of gorging) before the big kaboom and your journey into the unknown, sans body. You have no idea what’s to come following that. Regardless, you’re gleefully happy and cannot wait for this spinning lunatic asylum full of death and unjust suffering to finally be finished off. So you’re going shopping (assuming any shops will be open), for ingredients if you’re a cook at heart, and/or for ready-made items that you sometimes wish you could eat yourself to death with, having blissed out in crazy taste-bud ecstasy for hours, possibly all day long with several breaks, since I eat nice and slow.

So, below are my choices…and I hope to see others’ Last Meal selections in the comments, but who cares about my hopes? Probably no one, sigh. Anyhow:

Everything’s VEGAN, naturally.

Serving sizes? No such thing! All you can eat…

• Green chili & black bean tamales (greasy!)
Source: Susy Languren Di Vegan – youtube
• Pizza with lots of Miyoko’s mozzarella and some hot peppers (also nice & greasy)
Source: avantgardevegan – youtube
• Shortbread cookies (again greasy, and nice & crumbly)
Source: lovingitvegan.com
• Glazed jelly donuts (What, me worry about sugar? No more!)
Source: Mayim Bialik’s Hannukkah Doughnuts
• Chocolate layer cake with lots of chocolate frosting (mmmm, more sugar and lots of deep brown chocolatey gooeyness)
Source: liliscakes.com
• Premium smooth peanut butter, lightly salted

And to wash it all down…
• Big tumbler of chocolate peppermint soy milk

That’s one huge pig-out for me because my maintenance calories are 1800, and a rough estimate of calories here is about 3800. That’s probably equal to my all-time pig-out record and possibly all I could eat without dropping dead (and I’d want to be fully conscious for the asteroid hit, heheh). Anyways, who’s counting calories any more on “D Day”? I must be nuts.

Of course I’d have plenty of extra food on hand and let my dog(s) (and family) stuff down as much as they could, too, since what dog or human wouldn’t love to gorge on all that in glazed-eyed, Buddha-bellied abandon, knowing there’s no tomorrow?

With my luck, after finishing that gut busting, weight packing, heart-attack, diabetes-chow feast, the asteroid would unexpectedly change course and this purgatory would grind on, and I’d be stuck bloated, several pounds heavier, and probably ripe for some dreaded, food-related, chronic disease.

Source: giphy.com
Oh well, the world’s end is only a dream, but still I pray.

 

Human behavior · Personal memoirs · Psychology · Things I love · Uncategorized

It’s Only a Walkway, or so They’d Have You Believe

I discovered a new phobia yesterday that I don’t think has ever been known before. Naturally it’s my exclusive, weird phobia, as anything of mine usually is the only one in the universe (seems that way at times).

Gephyrophobia is a general fear of bridges. But no, that’s not quite what I’m talking about here. I have no problem with walking or driving over bridges, as long as they’re well built. Although with the potential for earthquakes in Southern California I do get extremely anxious when stuck in a car on a freeway overpass or cloverleaf, way the heck up there, where a good strong quake could send you and the bridge crumbling down. But I’ll still do that (without actually feeling faint or having a panic attack) on the rare occasions when it’s unavoidable in order to get somewhere.

However…

Yesterday I was on a walk with my precious little dog Tyler in Buena Park, CA, after visiting my bank out there, and came to the end of a street which ended at the intersecting 91 freeway. Saw a strange construct there and went to check it out. Turned out to be the entrance to the walkup to a pedestrian bridge that would take us to the neighborhood on the other side of the freeway. Bridge is pictured here, courtesy of Google Maps:

Copyright Google Maps August 2011 (Fair Use)
Copyright Google Maps April 2019 (Fair Use)

“That looks interesting.”

I said to myself and Tyler, let’s do this! I’d never walked a freeway pedestrian bridge before. Had heard stories of deranged people tossing bricks or other heavy items (sometimes themselves as in suicide) off of them, causing car wrecks and injuring or killing people in the days before these bridges were enclosed by chain link fencing, but never thought about walking across one myself. The thought of being up there and watching the cars streak past down below from both directions seemed intriguing, since a favorite walk has always been to the end of beach piers, totally enjoying the crashing waves below (if only the piers were minus the fishermen). Well well, was I wrong about this new experience.

I understand others’ “irrational” phobias now, when I didn’t before.

I have one known phobia that seems pretty rational…I tried to be like a mechanic once and laid down on my back to slide underneath a car to look at something or other down there. After just a few seconds I started panicking, couldn’t sit up, felt trapped, had to get out immediately and realized I’d never do that again. It’s a form of claustrophobia I guess, and I’d never had occasion to experience it before then. Strange, because I don’t fear elevators or other enclosed spaces, when standing anyways.

My mom had claustrophobia due to being locked in closets as punishment as a child, and I’d never understood her intense fear of being shut in somewhere. Thought all she needed was to do it, safely, repeatedly, and realize it wasn’t going to kill her, and just “get over it.” Well, I began to change my mind when I experienced my own phobia(s). Unless you have the chance to do the things that will make you dizzy and weak-kneed with anxiety and panic, you don’t realize you have any phobias.

So I and Tyler happily trekked up the bridge on-ramp…

Little Tyler the boss-man chihuahua usually leads the way (but safely), so I watched to see if he’d be fearful when he reached the actual bridge, as he doesn’t care for high foot bridges or anything unusual like that. He was a little cautious, checking out the noisy traffic down below, a bit nervous, but nothing he was going to refuse to get across. He  felt safe with me. So I said, “great,” and started across myself with brave little Tyler as my guide.

Traffic was pretty heavy and the whooshing noise was intense, the cars hurtling by underneath from both directions. I started gasping a bit and thought, “just relax.” But no, there was no relaxing to be done. I kept going, thinking it was just excitement due to a new experience. But no, aside from the hyperventilating and heart pounding that kicked in, I started trembling, feeling dizzy, like I’d pass out if I didn’t turn around quickly and get the hell off that crazy death trap. We were about a third of the way across. Visions like the one below may have flitted through my head, a ped bridge knocked down by a garbage truck bucket that hadn’t been lowered…

Southfield Bridge, Detroit, 2014 – photo credit Mike Campbell WWJ Newsradio 950

I did quickly turn back and got the hell off that horrific thing.

As soon as we headed down the on-ramp I calmed down almost completely; was totally cool when back on the sidewalk, but vowing never again! Poor little brave Tyler had been looking forward to getting across that strange passageway and seeing (sniffing) more stuff on some new turf on the other side. But if I’d actually managed to get over there (by running like a terrified jackrabbit), getting back over again would have been nearly impossible if not totally so. Would probably have had to call for help, which would have been pretty embarrassing.

So, I now have two phobias that I know of: the under the car (or anything similar) thing, and the pedestrian overpass thing. Bottom line: No more scoffing at other people’s phobias for me. I have seen the light (or rather, the near blacking out).

Cooking · Food · Recipes · Things I love · Uncategorized · Vegan cooking

21 Sweet Vegan Dreams

Vegan desserts, food porn alert!

Look away if this will cause you to bake (or prep) up a storm and pig out! But to find the recipes if you dare, just tap “Click Here” under photos.

I’ve always been a bakery junkie; the smells alone that waft from those happy houses of sweet and rich are so very intoxicating, drawing one in like a bee to nectar, but much worse of course, as nectar is good for bees.

Those people who whip up these delectable, ultra-rich baked goods and desserts are like the Devil in Fairy Godmother finery to me. They’re like drug pushers. But since I went strictly vegan back in early 2009 I’ve managed to curb my luscious-sweets addiction with a healthy big bowl of mostly molasses sweetened cereal every morning.

Still, I can’t have the sorts of things in this recipe collection around and be alone with them. They whisper (or scream) my name relentlessly until I give in and start in on “just one dainty serving, like a normal person.” Then all bets are off…the whole bunch of it is going down the hatch, but slowly, as I’m a slow eater, always the last to finish a meal in any group. No eating-contest style wolfing for me. Anyhow, I must say a resounding NO to these luscious sweet concoctions, and can only dream, since all that sugar really wreaks havoc on our health.

I do envy those smuggies who can have a dainty slice of cake and then push the plate away and be done, really done. Me? Never. Unless there’s no more to be found. As long as it’s not on my radar and reachable, it’s safe. Sigh.

So on with those vegan desserts (or main dishes as with the pancakes), in random order…mmmmmmm!

1…

Crispy Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies from thevegan8.com Click Here

2…

Guava Cake from the jollyfox.com Click Here

3…

Jelly Donuts from hellyeahitsvegan.com Click Here

4…

Blueberry Muffins from connoisseurusrex.com Click Here

5…

Vegan Glazed Cinnamon Apple Fritter from onegreenplanet.org Click Here

6…

Vegan Date Cookies from Bishdar on pixabay.com Click Here

7…

Vegan Shortbread Cookies from lovingitvegan.com Click Here

8…

Vegan Chocolate Mousse from ElodiV on pixabay.com Click Here

9…

Pumpkin Muffins (with surprise center) from lovenutty.com Click Here

10…

One-Bowl Gluten-Free Carrot Cake from minimalistbaker.com Click Here

11…

Lemon Meringue Pie from veganosity.com Click Here

12…

“Paleo” Vegan Almond Flour Chocolate Chip Cookies from detoxinista.com Click Here

13…

Lemon Pie with Ginger Cookie Crust from lovingitvegan.com Click Here

14…

Easy Vegan Lemon Almond Poppy Seed Bread from beamingbaker.com Click Here

15…

Vegan Cheesecake with Salted Caramel Fudge Sauce from lovingitvegan.com Click Here

16…

Pancakes from lovingitvegan.com 😋 Click Here

17…

Easy Raw Vegan Fudge from detoxinista.com Click Here

18…

Vegan Confetti Cookies from namelymarly.com Click Here

19…

Vegan Chocolate Layer Cake from noracooks.com Click Here

20…

Vegan Eclairs from gretchensbakery.com Click Here

21…

Vegan Cherry Pie from biancazapatka.com Click Here